


Man Enough

by notaliteraltoad



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-15 09:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11803320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notaliteraltoad/pseuds/notaliteraltoad
Summary: When getting caught in a radstorm leaves Nick needing repairs, Sole Survivor Nora is all too happy to lend a hand. Of course, being so intimate with someone you harbour feelings for isn't easy.A kiss and an awkward apology later, Nora is left wondering if she's read the signs all wrong.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a slightly different writing style, so go easy on me! In any case, I hope all you synth fuckers out there enjoy~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Changed Sole's name to the generic "Nora". There's not really a huge reason behind it other than I've decided I like using the default Sole better for fics ❤❤❤

Thick green fog rolled over the water, enveloping the view of far away islands and wrecks of distant ships. It looked so far away, out at sea, but encroaching ever closer. The fast approaching radstorm brought a horrible, bone-chilling cold that buried itself so deep it felt almost supernatural.

Pulling her leather coat tightly around her torso, slender fingers fumbling against the cold fabric, Nora sighed. Little puffs of air clouded in front of her lips and she shuddered. “If we keep going, we can probably make it to Finch farm by ten.”

Nick strode beside her, long legs easily keeping pace with Nora’s eager strides. “We could, doll, but I don’t know if we’ll make it.” He watched the radstorm with narrowed gold eyes. “Even if we ran the whole way, we might still get caught.”

“Then what do you suggest?” Nora grumbled, stuffing her hands deeper in her pockets. There was nothing worse than camping out in the middle of a storm - especially a radstorm. If they made it to Finch farm before it caught them, at least they’d have somewhere proper to lay low. Although, this meant more time alone with Nick, which was never a bad thing - unless of course she was sick with rad poisoning.

Nick seemed to consider it for a moment, those wonderful yellow eyes flicking around, taking in their surroundings. It took him less than thirty seconds to come to a conclusion - he wasn’t a detective for nothing. “Well, we could camp out in one of these old buildings.” Nick gestured with his good hand to the nearest one - little more than a metal shack. “It won’t do much, but it’s better than being caught in a full blown storm.” He turned to her with a worried frown pulling at the corner of his lips. “I don’t want you getting sick.”

When he said those words, Nora fucking melted. In the short months she had spent with Nick, from the moment she found him in that vault and heaved his ass to safety, she realised Nick cared way too much for other people. His career choice almost required it, but she knew it went deeper than that. He was a softy at heart, a worrier, someone who just wanted everyone to be safe. It was admirable.

With a roll of her eyes, Nora relented. “How about a compromise? We keep going, then camp out at the next, less dilapidated building we see. I’d really rather keep going-” Nora’s whining cut itself short as a shiver ran down her back, broad shoulders heaving as the first touches of green settled around them.

When had that happened?

A quick glance behind confirmed that the irradiated fog had completely blanketed the sea, slowly creeping up on them while Nora spoke.The first raindrops pattered against the ground; small green tinted puddles forming at their feet. Within seconds, the radrain was belting down on them, each drop pricking Nora's skin like tiny irradiated needles.

"Fuck!" Without pause to think, Nora swiftly grabbed Nick's hand and sprinted for the nearest crumbling heap of a building. It barely registered in her mind that Nick had gone rigid, latexhand stiff in hers.

In the seconds it took Nora to shoulder open the door and dart inside, the first burst of hot yellow lightning struck ground. The following crack of thunder was deafeningly loud and Nora could have sworn she felt the ground shudder.

She sucked in a gasp as radrain dripped in her eyes, vision blurring for one long, agonising moment before swimming back to normal. They stung like hell, sharp like shampoo in her eyes but so much worse. The ticking of her Geiger counter told her to be more careful. With a huff she reached into her pockets, pulled out a rad-x bottle and downed two pills.

Nick let out a strangled sigh as he slammed the door closed behind him, but there was a smirk on his lips that told her one thing - told you so. "Still think we could have made it?" he teased, lips pursed to conceal a grin.

Nora narrowed her eyes, half shaded by thick blonde hair dripping wet. "Fine, you were right!" She couldn't help but laugh as Nick grinned smugly. Even such a gloating smile at her own expense made Nora's heart skip. It was cute, the way his smile curled more on one side, the less damaged side.

"Hey doll?"

"Hmm?" Nora snapped to attention, green eyes drifting up to Nick's glowing yellow ones.

"You going to let go of my hand any time soon? Not that I'm complaining."

"Huh? Oh." It hadn't occurred to her, really, that she hadn't let go. His fake latex skin felt warm, though it lacked the softness of a human hand. She had grabbed it without thinking, but now it just felt so right, his hand nestled in hers.

Clearing her throat, Nora slipped her hand free - ignoring the way her chest ached at the loss of contact. “I should get changed. Bag’s waterproof enough the stuff inside should be okay.”

“Right, yeah. I should do the same.” Nick shifted, eyes narrowed as if studying her. His gaze dipped when Nora met his eyes, then he turned swiftly on his heels and disappeared into the next room without a word.

Something was up, that much Nora knew. What? Well, that was a mystery. Nick was a mystery. Sometimes his thoughts were so critically guarded Nora wondered if he ever let his guard down. He seemed to with Ellie, at least, but no one else. Not even her. It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did, but she felt a pang of irritation as she watched Nick’s retreating back.

Groaning quietly, Nora ripped her gaze from the now empty doorway and focused on the task at hand. She dropped the bags unceremoniously to the ground and bent to her knees to rifle through. Inside was a spare pair of clothes - just plain jeans and a t-shirt, thin enough she could fit her armour over top. Not that she owned much armour, but that wasn’t the point.

Peeling off the soaked leather jacket proved to be more difficult than expected. It clung to her skin as she wrestled it off her shoulders, then refused to slip down her arms. She squirmed and shimmied it down to her elbows, finally wrenching it free with a satisfied, “yes!” Then off came her ratty old grey t-shirt, quickly replaced by the dry one.

Without the extra layers as insulation, it hit Nora just how damn cold it was. She felt as if she’d been shoved in a freezer overnight, hands sluggish and clumsy. The wet jeans clinging to her thighs didn’t help - but at least she had a spare pair. She had almost considered sacrificing a change in favour of extra purified water.

She was in the middle of changing her jeans when footsteps reached her ears. Though her back was turned, she recognised Nick’s walk anywhere - the footsteps far too heavy for a human man his size. She looked down at herself, tanned legs and too-big boxers completely on show.

A grin teased the corners of her lips as she spun around, hand on hip. “Don’t you know how to knock?” she questioned, thick brow raised. Hey, she wasn’t going to be embarrassed about it - she had been caught in much more compromising positions. After her mother had caught her having sex with Nate on the coffee table, this was nothing.

Except, going by the wide eyes and the fact she could hear Nick’s internal fans whirring, he didn’t think so. “I uh… shit, I’m sorry. I was gonna ask you to - it doesn’t matter. Come find me when you’re… decent.” He whipped around so quickly he nearly lost his footing on an uneven floorboard, then all but tumbled back through the door.

All the while, Nora watched him go with a bemused smile on her lips. If she had known he would get all flustered like that, she would have done it intentionally. Shame he all but ran from her, though. Still, it was cute when he did that - something she kept strictly to herself. No use wrecking an amazing friendship on the off chance he liked her back. No, she was quite happy with how things were.

Right?

Remembering Nick had mentioned wanting to ask her something, Nora quickly discarded the wet jeans and pulled on the fresh pair, still-damp legs making the task a little tricky. Eventually, fully clothed, she went in search of Nick.

She found him in the next room - it looked like it had once been an office; an old, battered desk and chair lay haphazardly across the room. Like everything else in the wasteland it was crumbling to pieces - part of the roof had collapsed in the corner, leaving a tiny hole for foggy radstorm to seep in.

Staying a safe distance away, Nora searched the room. Nick sat on a beat up old love seat, head in his hand. When she cleared her throat his head snapped up to look at her - and if he was able to blush, Nora guessed he would have been scarlet.

“Don’t worry, I’m covered,” she told him with a grin, “what was it you wanted to ask?”

He blinked and said nothing, eyes subconsciously drifting to her legs. If she hadn’t known better, Nora would have said disappointment flashed across his face when he saw black jeans instead of tanned flesh. After a moment he shook his head and fumbled in his pocket for a cigarette. He offered one to Nora - then lit one for himself when she declined. “Don’t worry about it. I think that rain fried a wire or two, but it’s nothing I can’t fix myself.”

He wasn’t looking at her. Doubt crept into the back of Nora’s mind. Really, the whole incident hadn’t been a big deal. If she didn’t care about being caught in her undies, why was Nick so embarrassed about it? The question sat at the tip of her tongue - but never made it out of her mouth. No, that would only make things even weirder between them.

Anyway, there was a more pressing matter. Nick. Injured. She settled into the seat beside him, so close she felt her arm brush against his - he wasn’t wearing his coat, she noticed. Must have been too wet to put back on. “If you need a tuning, I can help out. I was an engineer before the war, you know. Well, before I decided law was the way to go.”

He glanced up, brows furrowed. His skeletal hand raised to his mouth and he took a long drag of the cigarette before replying, “I’m not like any of the cars or computers you took apart back in the day, doll.”

She shrugged. “Well, you can guide me, right?” She quirked a brow and leaned forward to survey the wires peeking out from the crack in Nick’s jawline. Some people found that creepy; either because it was another obvious sign he wasn’t human, or because it made them think of what a human jaw in that state would look like. Honestly, Nora thought it was oddly alluring. It gave him character, like her scars did for her.

After a moment, Nick shook his head. “I’m fine. You should get some sleep - I can patch myself up while you catch some shut eye.”

Nora’s almond eyes narrowed as she regarded him, leaning back in her seat. Normally she wouldn’t press, wouldn’t demand he do something he wasn’t comfortable with - but the second he said his wires were fried, that nagging worry had refused to leave. “I won’t force it,” she spoke softly, “but what’s a few wires? I can sleep all I want once I know you’re okay.”

For a moment Nick looked as if he was about to refuse - lips pursed, brows pinched - but then he sighed ever so softly and nodded. “Sure, kid. Go ahead. The tool kit’s in my bag.”

Nora nodded an affirmative as she hopped off the sofa, bare feet quietly padding against the ground to fetch the bag.

It sat by a boarded up old window, and when she glanced over Nora saw the murky green radstorm raging through the gaps in the plywood. Wind battered against the boards, rattling against each other. Rain water pooled on the floor.

With a shudder, Nora snatched up the bag and hurried back to Nick.

She settled back down beside him, shifting so one leg curled underneath her on the seat as she faced him. “So, what do you need me to do?” she questioned as her hands delved into the bag to find the tool kit. She took out a spare off-white shirt, stimpaks, and all of the assorted junk that wouldn’t fit in her own bag - before finding a little red toolkit right at the bottom.

Nick pursed his lips. “The front chest plate’s going to have to come off to survey the damage. It… might be weird for you.” He stubbed out the remainder of the cigarette on the back of the ancient leather sofa. Immediately he replaced it with another, taking out his lighter and flicking it across the end of the cigarette.

He was focusing just a little too hard on that lighter, using it as an excuse to avoid eye contact. Nora knew that tactic - she had seen it plenty before; when he was trying to think of something to say during a difficult case. When Ellie scolded him and he couldn’t think of a witty reply. When he was overcome with embarrassment.

Frankly, Nick had no reason to worry. Nora was more occupied with the fact she was going to see Nick shirtless. This wasn’t exactly how she imagined it happening, though. In her mind there were candles flickering in the dim light of a darkened bedroom, Nora perched on the bed, Nick underneath her. His coat was tossed over the headboard, hat beside it. Nora flung aside his tie and made fast work of the buttons of his shirt…

“Doll?”

Nora jerked, hand knocking the tool kit and almost sending it sprawling - she caught it at the last minute, slender hands catching it mid fall and throwing it back onto the sofa. Cheeks burning, Nora tried to hide it with her hair. It would have worked, if one side hadn’t been shaved to stubble.

Nick rose a brow, lips curling into an unsure smile. “You okay? I guess the thought of opening me up was too much for you. I don’t blame you.” Something like relief spread across his face, but there was something in the way his brow furrowed. Disappointment?

Of course, Nick had no idea what she had really been thinking about. Probably for the best.

Clearing her throat, Nora shook her head. “I’m good.” One hand curled around the tool kit - when had she started sweating? Her hand was damp, leaving smudgy imprints on the metal surface. With a small huff she turned her green eyes to Nick and said, “ready?”

Nick shrugged. “Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to completely make up "fixing Nick" because not only do synths not exist but I know absolutely nothing about mechanics/electricals. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Feel free to give me comments, but it's by no means mandatory~

Nora took a deep, steadying breath as she watched Nick ever so carefully remove his tie. His latex hand was slow and careful with the ancient clothing; hit metal hand clumsier but just as gentle. What would they look like removing her clothes?

She groaned and covered her burning red face with her hands.

"Something wrong, doll?"

Peeking through her hands, Nora shook her head. "Nope. I'm absolutely  _fine."_

Oh. He was shirtless now. Totally bare naked from the waist up. His torso was separated into large hexagonal panels, thick grooves disappearing into the hem of his trousers. Not human, but certainly not bad either. Nora let her gaze trail down his chest, drifting down his stomach before coming to rest on a deep crevice above his left hip. Something had taken a chunk out of him and left only a wire filled hole with ragged edges.

"Not a pretty sight, huh?" Nick joked, but his voice sounded… odd.  _ _Distant.__

Nora's stomach knotted painfully as she glanced up, lip curling into a frown. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare! I just… I didn't realise you'd been injured." She let her thumb ghost over the sharp ridge over his hip where fake flesh ended and metal began. "Does it hurt?"

Nick jerked away from her touch, glowing eyes widening in the semi-darkness of the unlit room. He said nothing, lips pursed tightly as if trying to stop himself from making a sound. Eventually he released a breath. Did Nick even need to breathe? She was pretty sure he didn't. "It doesn't hurt, doll - but it feels… strange. Like trying to stand when you have pins and needles."

Nora nodded silently. That wasn't  _ _all__ , and she knew it. A person didn't react like that because of any pins and needles she had ever experienced. But as her eyes drifted back to the ragged hole in his side, she felt something heavy form in her stomach.

She couldn't help with that, but she could at least help fix what the radstorm had caused. Maybe she could even fix some of his emotional scars, too. God knew she had been  _trying._

Taking another slow intake of breath, Nora held it for a moment before releasing it in one slow huff. "Okay, how do I remove the front panel?"

Nick took a deep drag of his cigarette before replying. "Lift up the bottom and it'll come loose. There's a tab underneath you can hook your finger under, and the whole thing should come off."

Okay. Easy enough. Nora's hands shook as she nudged the bottom of the largest panel and her fingers slid underneath it with ease. See? She was  _ _fine.__ Nothing to worry about. Her fingers found a little metal tab and it only took a feather-light touch to unhinge it. In moments the outer panel came away in Nora's hands.

Nora shuddered as she carefully set it aside. That was part of Nick. Part of him that she had just removed as if he was some kind of object. It left behind a dark hole where his chest and stomach would have been, if he was human. It was a mess of tangled wires and strange chunks of metal held together with thick layers of duct tape. At the very back she could just see a long, segmented string of silver. A metallic spine?

 _It's fine,_  she told herself,  _doctors do this all the time._ Her fists clenched around a handful of her t-shirt until her knuckles turned white.

"Doll?"

Heart stuttering in her chest, Nora flicked her eyes up to meet Nick's. "Yeah, sorry. I'm good just… tell me what to do." She kept her eyes studiously on Nick's face, dark brows knitted together.

"Before we start I uh… want to ask you something."

Uh oh. She inhaled a sharp breath, eyes widening. "Go ahead Nick. I'm listening." Even to her own ears, the tightness in her voice was clear.

Nick shuffled away, consciously turning his body away from Nora as if that could somehow hide the cavern in his torso. "This… well, I don't think there's any way for me to say this without being awkward, so I'll just come out and say it. I hope you seeing me like this isn't going to change anything between us."

Her heart sank, settling deep inside her gut, weighing heavily inside her. Without thinking she took his hand in hers - the metal one, the one he so carefully kept away from her - and gently guided him back to face her. "No way, Nick. I offered, remember? It's not like I didn't already know you were a synth."

"It isn't the same, though," he replied, nose crinkling. For someone with limited facial movement, he did a good job of looking disgusted. "Like this, I feel even less of a person. I don't want to scare you off - I wouldn't know what to do without you, doll." Nick forced a smile, but the corners of his lips didn't curl up in that mismatched way Nora loved.

God, Nora was so dense! How hadn't she seen it before? Of course this was going to be awkward and weird, but it wasn't just because he was self conscious. Did he really think she was going to run off the second the reality of his non-humanity settled in?

 _I wouldn't know what to do without you_.Was it possible Nick felt the same about her as she did about him?

Despite the heavy feeling still nestled in her gut, Nora felt a grin spread across her sharp features. "You won't get rid of me so easily, Nick Valentine. I'm here for the long haul. For one, you're not ditching me in the middle of an important case. We have Shaun to find, remember."

"That the only reason you keep me around?" He smiled a little wider - and this time his lips did tilt in that lopsided way and Nora melted at the sight of him. She really could get lost in those lips, in the way the corners of his eyes crinkled…

Clearing her throat, Nora ducked her head so she could pry open the tool kit with unsteady hands. She just hoped he didn't notice the dark flush spreading across her tanned face. "Of course not! The company is good, and you're pretty easy on the eyes." No. Why did her brain have to think that - worse, why did her mouth have to say it? She was honest to god flirting with Nick, right after he had bared his heart to her - literally  _and_ figuratively.

She was a disaster of a human being.

Nora felt Nick's glowing eyes on her and she caught his stunned expression, brows furrowed, before he relaxed into a smile again. "Flatterer. Thanks, though, for helping ease an old synth's worries."

"Any time, Nick. Now, where do I start?"

"Look for a bundle of wires on the left. If you find any frayed ones, tape them up."

"Tape isn't really a permanent solution," Nora pointed out, narrowing her eyes, I don't want to shorting out on me, Valentine."

Although, most of his insides were held together with frayed strips of tape. Her chest felt heavy with the knowledge that, unlike humans who needed doctors, there probably wasn't anyone who knew how to fix him up properly.

They didn't have any spare wires though - Nora really was trying to curb her junk hoarding habit - so they had to make do. With a deep breath Nora carefully slid her hand inside Nick's torso, taking a gentle handful of white and red wires. There was a little cluster beginning to fall apart, so Nora tore off a piece of tape and gently wrapped it around the wires.

"You're doing good, kid. See if you can find a thick black one - feels like it's come loose. Hope the rain didn't damage it too much."

Nora winced at his words, delicate hands stumbling with the handful of Nick's wires. Sure, radiation was bad for her - but a quick Rad-X solved that problem. If Nick got soaked, it was game over.

She brushed past more metal and wires, methodically sifting through them until her fingers brushed a thick black wire dangling near the back. Hand inside as far as it could go, she struggled to get a hold of it for a moment. Damn, why did the important bit have to be so hard to get to?

Finally,  _finally,_ her fingers curled around the wire. "Aha! Okay, where does it go?"

"See the fourth vertebrae on my spine? It has a little notch the wire slips into."

So it was his spine Nora spotted earlier. Despite herself, she shuddered. Nora knew she was treating Nick like delicate china - but when she looked at him, all dented metal and rust, it was difficult not to imagine him falling to pieces underneath her gentle touch. She swallowed the lump in her throat and slowly slid the black wire into its rightful home.

Relief flooded here the instant she drew her hand away, an audible sigh leaving her. Phew! She wriggled her hand out of Nick's torso, hand bumping against an intricate cluster of gears and metal where a human heart would have been. It was warm to the touch - almost hot, like an overheating phone. Not like that analogy would have meant much to anyone post-war.

Beside her Nick froze, back arching. He let out a small hiss between clenched lips.

Immediately Nora drew back, eyes wide with horror. "Oh shit Nick, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry!" She scooted back on the sofa to get a better look at him, bright green eyes searching his face for any signs of discomfort.

He avoided her gaze, digging around in the pocket of his trousers for the gold plated lighter. With a quick flick, another of the never ending cigarettes lit up in his skeletal hand. "No, not exactly doll. That's uh, well, a sensitive spot."

Brow quirked, Nora asked, "if it doesn't hurt, then what?" Hopefully she hadn't knocked something out of place or messed with his sensors.

Nick couldn't blush without blood, but the way he ducked his head, eyes downcast, she was sure he would have. "It's nothing."

She let out a small, snorting laugh and shuffled forward. "C'mon Nick, now you have me curious! Don't keep a lady in the dark." Head tilted to the side, a few strands of dirty blonde hair fell in her eyes, brushing against her small button nose.

Nick couldn't hold her gaze; instead he took a deep drag of his cigarette, watching the ash gather at the end. "You really want me to say it? When you touch that spot it's… _ _arousing__."

Oh. Oh! Nora's cheeks flushed dark crimson. "Really?" A devilish grin spread across her lips as she leaned forward, one hand hovering above the ragged edges of his torso. "So every time I do _ _this__ ," she paused to reach in, brushing the edge of the metal core with delicate fingers, "you basically get a synth orgasm?"

 _"Doll,"_ Nick warned, golden-yellow eyes narrowed to slits. "What are you doing?" She brushed his core again and he tensed, flesh hand gripping the arm of the sofa as if his life depended on it.

Nora was so close - another few inches and she could have kissed him. Her left arm, the one almost elbow deep inside Nick's chest, felt stiff, forced at an odd angle as she crept closer, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was Nick's scent; thick with cigarette smoke and greased gears and aged metal. She inhaled, a small sigh escaping her-

And then her lips were on his. He tasted of copper and tobacco, lips warm but much firmer than a human's. She sighed into him, enjoying the feel of his bottom lip captured between hers. Her free hand reached up to cup Nick's face, thumb tracing over the edge of the exposed parts of his jaw. Her other hand slid free of its hold on his core, sliding down to his waist, pulling him close.

God, she had waited so long for this.

Then Nick jerked away, stumbling to his feet and almost tripping over a rotted floorboard. "What was that?"

"Huh?"

All of a sudden, reality came crashing down on her. Cheeks flushed, tears pricking the corners of her eyes, she sank into the sofa. If only it could bury her completely. "I-I thought you… _Fuck._ I screwed this up, didn't I? Shit, Nick, I'm so sorry." Her hands gripped the hem of her shirt, knotting it tightly around thick fingers. She glared at them, lips curling into a scowl.

Silence. She heard Nick gather up the repair kit, snapping it closed, and then felt the air move as he brushed past her - apparently giving her as wide a berth as possible.

"You should get some sleep. I can do the rest of the repairs myself. See you in the morning, doll." His voice was tight, withdrawn.

"Yeah, Sure. I'll unroll my sleeping bag in the other room." Nora pulled herself to her feet, ignoring how her legs felt stiff, body heavy, heart slowly sinking into the pit of her stomach.

She didn't look back as she left the little living room, softly closing the door behind her. She tried not to think as she let her feet carry her to the next room, tried not to let her mind drift back to Nick, the feeling of his lips against hers, her hand caressing the side of his jaw…

Outside the radstorm still raged strong, battering against the crumbling walls, shaking the windows in their frames. She couldn't hear Nick over the storm - and maybe that was for the best. What was he doing now, unable to sleep, left alone to think?

With a heavy sigh Nora kicked off her boots and crawled into her bedroll. Usually the softness of the pillow was comforting, a sign of a good night's rest after a difficult day - but she knew sleep was a long, _ _long__ way away.


	3. Chapter 3

Sleep was impossible, just as likely to claim her as Nick was to slide into her bedroll and kiss her. Which, really, was the entire problem. Nora tossed and turned, contorting into every sleeping position known in an attempt to drift off. Here eyelids were so heavy they felt like lead, brain a fuzzy mess of half-forgotten thoughts. Yet sleep was still out of reach.

With a quiet huff she tossed back the bedroll cover and heaved herself into a sitting position. Cold night air hit her and she shivered, the chill tickling her spine beneath her thin t-shirt. Glancing to her left she saw green-yellow mist curling under the door, the remains of the radstorm, but not even a tiny crack of light shone through. Still the dead of night, then.  _ _Great.__

Since sleep was even less plausible than a miracle to make Nick forget about her fuck up, Nora leaned over to pull on her boots and shrugged on her heavy leather coat. Exploring was a good way to kill time - even if this small, two-story beach house was barely bigger than her house back at Sanctuary.

At the very least it might help take her mind off Nick, even if only for an hour.

Another deep shudder passed through Nora as she passed by the boarded up window, narrowing her eyes as the ancient wood creaked and groaned. Turning her head away, she flipped a finger at the window with a small snort of annoyance. No wonder she couldn’t sleep - Nick, the radstorm, creaky boards. The wasteland sucked. Well, except for the Nick part. Mostly.

There was another door across the room - the dull green light of her Pip-Boy only provided a dull outline of the door and an empty picture frame hanging beside it. Nora crept toward it, feet light despite the heavy army-style boots she wore, careful to avoid making a noise and alerting Nick. Not a single floorboard creaked; and when she reached the door and inched it open, the hinges were blissfully silent.

She peeked inside first, Pip-Boy light revealing the room was almost empty save for an old mattress, empty wooden barrel in place of a bedside table, and a chem box. Whoever stayed here last had been gone for a while - the mattress was filthy, certainly not something Nora would ever want to sleep on for sure. It was, however, much quieter thanks to the miraculously intact double glazed window and thick wooden shutters.

Maybe it was worth holing up here instead.

A yawn rose in Nora’s throat, eyes fluttering closed as she clamped a hand around her mouth to stifle it. Yeah. Sleep sounded  _ _amazing.__

With a new spring in her step, Nora bounded back to the main room to grab her bedroll. It slowed to a quiet creep as she neared the door leading to Nick’s, casting a grimace his way as she passed. Tomorrow was going to be  _awkward._ God, why had she thought kissing Nick was a good idea? Of course he didn’t feel the same! They were friends, yes, and sort-of colleagues since she had taken up a few cases at the agency - but that was all. Fuck, she had  _ _insisted__ on fixing him up, damn near forced him to, and then kissed him. She was an idiot!

With a low groan she dropped to her knees and grabbed the bedroll, pulling it toward her. It dragged along the uneven floor, the shuffling of thick fabric deafening in the otherwise silent house. Thick hands curled around the fabric as she let out another groan. Then, _“fuck!"_ She shoved the bedroll back, kicking it for good measure. Yeah, she definitely wasn’t getting any sleep tonight.

Nora was about to stand back up, hands curled by her sides, tears pricking the corners of her eyes - but the sound of a door slowly creaking open stopped her in her tracks.

“Doll?”

Frozen, Nora blinked tears out of her eyes. The very person she didn’t want to see - and probably the one who didn’t want to see her, either. Of course Nick had heard her tantrum. Cheeks burning, Nora kept her back to him as she said, “I’m fine, Nick. Just moving to a quieter room.”

“Oh.” Nick’s voice was rough, as always, the slight echo giving away that it wasn’t entirely human. If he wasn’t making some self-depreciating joke or laughing at something stupid Nora said, it was always carefully neutral - so why did he sound so… dejected?

Nora took a breath and consciously uncurled her fingers. Her posture was still stiff, arms held by her side, as she turned around - but she forced a smile. If she pretended everything was okay, maybe they could just forget the kiss ever happened. “I’m sorry I disturbed you. I was just moving my bedroll - the next room over is all boarded up, nice and rad-free.”

Nick just nodded, beautiful golden eyes flicking from her face to the door, unable to focus on her. Nora felt her heart stutter as he looked at her for barely a second before his gaze dropped to the cigarette in his hand. “I thought maybe… huh. Never mind, it’s stupid.”

Quirking a brow, Nora said, “I bet it isn’t. What’s on your mind, Valentine?” Honestly she wanted nothing more than to dart away and slam the door, to sleep until morning and hope this weird awkwardness would blow over - but something was wrong and dammit, she couldn’t leave him knowing that. Hands twisting around the hem of her t-shirt, Nora took a step forward. The longer she looked at him, the harder it was to look away.

Nick regarded her warily, eyes still not meeting hers. “I thought you were moving to get further away from me.”

Oh. The words hit her like a physical force and she paused mid step, mouth open but silent. “Nick, I…” she trailed off, shoulders slouching, hands falling to her sides again. She was being so selfish, kissing him - and now she was making things even worse. She had never been like this with Nate - the thought flashed through her mind but she buried it away again. This wasn’t about Nate, this was about  _ _her__ and  _ _Nick.__

“Forget it, doll. You get back to sleep.” He took a drag of the cigarette, then dropped the stub and crushed it under his foot. “See you in the morning.” Then he spun around on his heels and it seemed to take all of his self restraint not to bolt back to his own room. He paused at the door, latexhand hovering above the handle, then with a quick turn the door swung open and Nick disappeared into the darkness of the other room.

Well shit. Tears burned at the back of her eyelids, clouding her vision and obscuring what little she could see in the dark. She stood there, staring at the firmly closed door, a sob at the back of her throat. In one swift move she wiped the tears away and bent back down for the bedroll - lying in a crumpled heap where she had tossed it away.

She was half across the room, bedroll bundled under her arms, when someone cleared their throat behind her. Nora let out a shriek as her heart skipped, losing her grip on the bedroll. She spun around, blonde hair flipping in her eyes - only to see Nick standing awkwardly by the door again. “What now?” she snapped.  _This isn’t helping,_ she told herself, regret immediately settling in her gut. Even though her hand clenched into fists by her side, even though she wanted to tell Nick to just  _fuck off_ and let her deal with her emotions by herself, her heart fluttered as she watched him shuffle uncomfortably.

How was it, even when he was the cause of her distress, seeing him made her feel like everything might be okay?

Silence. Nick refused to look her in the eyes, glowing gaze fixed pointedly at the lighter in his hand. Click. Open. Click. Closed. He didn’t even have a cigarette on him. Eventually he glanced up and tried a smile. It had been hard to distinguish his emotions at first - his face plates weren’t exactly the most emotive, which made his already reserved nature even more elusive. Nora had long learned that the slight curling of his mouth and crinkled nose meant ‘I’m sorry but I don’t know how to say it.’

Nora surprised herself when she was the first to speak, anger flooding from her in an instant when she locked eyes with Nick. She was left with slouched shoulders and her resolve gone as she said, “what’s up, Nick?”

He let out a small huff despite the fact Nora knew he didn’t need to breathe. “I have the whole night, every night to myself - gives a lot of free time to over think,” he paused, metal hand clutching the lighter, “earlier, when you… I messed up, kid.”

Nora’s brow creased, any words she might have said caught in her throat the second those words reached her ears. He messed up? She was pretty sure that by now she was the Queen of fuck ups. She bit down on her lip, thick brows knitting together even further. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. In the dark it was difficult to see, but he ducked his head and pulled his hat lower over his eyes as if to hide his face. “You kissed me, doll, and I ignored you. Acted like it had never happed. Not the greatest reaction to a first kiss.”

“Technically it wasn’t your first,” Nora pointed out without thinking - but she didn’t dare say Jenny’s name. Just like Nate was a strictly off limits topic, so was she. Nora winced as she thought of Nate and Jenny, surprised tears pricking her eyes. What would Nate think, knowing she was in love with someone else? What did Nick think, knowing she had feelings for him when her husband was still in that fucking vault?

“Nora?”

She snapped back to attention, blinking away the warm tears threatening to spill and trickle down her cheeks. “Yeah?”

Nick repeated himself, but once again his words were lost to her. Outside the radstorm battered against the ancient walls of the house, rattling the heavy wooden door in its frame. It threatened to buckle as another gust of wind hit it, and then another, and another.

Frowning, Nora turned back to Nick - only to jump when she saw him much closer than before. His glowing eyes had intimidated her once, made her uneasy with their lack of blinking - but now he regarded her so softly Nora felt herself melt into his gaze.

“I was saying,” Nick began, lips pursed in a tiny, unsure frown, “that I don’t understand why. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, but it seems strange for someone like you to be interested in a synth like me.”

Nora reached out for his hand, just like her heart reached out to his - and then she had his flesh hand in hers. It was warm, comforting, a reminder that Nick finally seemed to want to open up.

He didn’t even try to pull away; just watched her with wide, wondering eyes. Progress.

“Look, Nick,” Nora began - but then she realised she didn’t actually know what to say. This went so much deeper than Nick not understanding her affection. This was an entire life of rejection and fear and mistrust. A few reassuring words from her weren’t going to fix this overnight. Maybe not ever. When she opened her mouth to speak again, her words came out faltering. “There’s a million reasons why. If I wanted to list them all to you I’d be here for days. You’re a great man, Nick, and-”

“I’m not a _ _man__ , doll, I’m a synth. That’s the point.”

“Yes, you’re a synth, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be a person. They aren’t mutually exclusive terms you know.” She felt a smile touch the corners of her lips and she squeezed his hand gently. “You’re your own person. You’re can’t be broken down into simple things like ‘synth’ or ‘fake Nick’ - and don’t try to tell me you don’t think of yourself like that because it’s always  _real Nick this,_ and  _real Nick that._ My point is that you’re you, and that’s enough.”

By the time she was finished, Nora’s breath came in quick hitches, chest rising and falling dramatically with each intake. Okay, she might have gone overboard. Her cheeks flushed bright red with the thought and she was silently glad it was too dark to see. Unless Nick had night vision. Fuck.

Nick didn’t say anything. Neither did she.

Her hand was still wrapped loosely around his, fingers locked. She silently told herself now was the time to pull away, put some distance between them and let Nick think. She just hoped he didn’t try to block her out again. The thought made her heart drop, shoulders droop. Maybe she should-

Nora never got to finish the thought. Finally the door had given in, bursting from its hinges as wind buffeted against it one last time. It landed with a crash, skidding across the rotten floor before slamming into the opposite wall in the narrow room.

Nora whipped her head away as wind hit her, picking up the unshaved side of her hair and blowing it fiercely in her eyes. The cold struck her immediately, followed by the painful-bone deep ache of radiation seeping through her pores.

With a huff she turned to glare accusingly at the door, eyes narrowed to thin slits. Raising her middle finger against the wind she shouted. “Fuck you, seriously? We’re trying to have a heart to heart here!”

Beside her, Nick grabbed her wrist to towe her to safety. A laugh escaped his lips, and although Nora couldn’t  _ _hear it__ , for the first time since this whole thing started he seemed genuinely happy.


	4. Chapter 4

The door slammed shut behind them, but the sound was lost to the howling wind battering against the other side. Even in the safety of the boarded up room Nora heard the storm rushing through the shattered window, felt the cold irradiated wind on her legs through the gap at the bottom of the door. She kept her back pressed against the door even though it was locked firmly in place.

Face flushed she turned to Nick, bright grin dying as she realised what this meant. She was alone with Nick - completely, without anywhere to disappear if things went sour. Fuck. A tanned hand dropped to the hem of her shirt, fiddling with a frayed hole.

Nick still had a firm but gentle hold of her free wrist. He glanced down at it with narrowed eyes before quickly letting go. He turned away to light a cigarette, end sparking in the darkness. "Guess you'll be camping here for the night."

"Guess so," Nora replied with a wince. There was no need for him to sound so disappointed. She huffed quietly and slowly pushed herself away from the door. It held, at least, though it shook worryingly. "So uh... can we go back a minute - back to what we were talking about before we were so  _rudely interrupted._ " She cracked a smile, showing still white pre-war teeth - but it felt forced. Since when did she have to fake smiles around Nick?

Nick made a small huffing sound in the back of his throat, but otherwise didn't make a sound. He did, however, pat the tattered seat beside him.

The sofa was a spacious three seater with more than enough room for them both, but Nora settled right beside Nick anyway. Their legs bumped, his covered by thin dress trousers and hers by black denim jeans. There was a beat of silence; Nora didn't want to be the one to breach the subject - apparently neither did Nick. Eventually she sighed, small noise lost to the sound of the storm, and asked, "so, where are we at?"

A shrug. "I don't know doll. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure put where the punchline is." He cracked a small smile, but it didn't curl at the corners like Nora loved.

She huffed out a breath, shoulders slumping. "No punchline. You know me Nick - I'm genuine." Gently she reached for his hands, brushing over the chipped latex of his left before gently curling her fingers over warm metal of his right. Her eyes searched his face, squinting in the dark.

Was it really so difficult to believe she liked him? Hell even  _MacCready_ saw it, joked about her crush on Nick to rile her up. So why couldn't he see it?

He didn't pull away, though, so that had to be good, right?

"You need to make sure this is what you want."

"Forget about me for just a minute. For once in your life, Nick, think about what you want." She ran her thumb along his knuckles - or what was left of them - the metal warm and rough. "So, what _ _do__ you want, Nick?"

A dry laugh escaped his lips and he shook his head. The movement caused his hat to cast dark shadows across his face until he seemed almost invisible in the darkness, save for the beautiful glow of his eyes. "Honestly? Right now I just want to kiss you."

"Well, who am I to turn you down?" Nora shot back. She laughed, low and throaty, and all of a sudden it was as if her worries melted away. When her eyes flicked back up to meet Nick's, she was lost. It was dark and cold and she was probably going to wake up with one hell of a rad-induced headache, but none of that mattered because dammit, she wasn't letting anything ruin this moment for her.

"It won't be easy, you know that doll? You're a role model - hell, a _hero_ \- to a lot of people out there. They won't want their guardian of the Commonwealth messing around with an old synth." He leaned back against the worn arm of the sofa. Although his old face plates were stiff, Nora couldn't mistake the creased brows and pursed lips as he sighed quietly.

She cupped the side of his face with her free hand and leaned close, so close he could have felt her breath if he had real skin. "You should know I don't give a flying fuck what other people think. It's easier said than done, sure, but at the end of the day why should we let people dictate who we love?"

"Love?" The word came out as more of a gasp, and then he was looking at her with wide eyes and parted lips and hell, Nora fell in love with him more every second.

With a beaming smile she brought up her other hand so they were both cupping Nick's jaw. "Cats out of the bag now, huh? Yeah, I love you." Her thumb traced delicate lines along Nick's jaw, trailing along until she reached the edge of a frayed patch of synthetic skin. "Everyone sees it. Except you, apparently." She couldn't help the fond smile touching the edge of her mouth.

"What about Nate?"

Nora slowly drew back, smile slipping from her face. It was the first time he had ever said Nate's name aloud - ever since their silent agreement not to talk about their past lives. She fell silent, eyes downcast. Of course he had to bring Nate up; she couldn't even blame him. "Look, Nick, I won't lie to you. Nate's death it… it messed me up. I'm still not over it and I don't know if I ever will be. It doesn't change the feelings I have for you, though. I;m a firm believer people can love more than once, even at the same time. I don't know how Nate would have felt about it if he was here, but he isn't, and no one can bring him back. He would want me to be happy, though."

"I know," Nick sighed, so quiet Nora almost missed his next words, "I just feel like I'm betraying him somehow." There were unspoken words, then, that he didn't need to say for Nora to understand. He felt like he was stealing her from Nate - but also, maybe on some small level, like he was betraying Jenny too.

Soft hands continued tracing the ragged edges of his skin, the soft smile falling back in place. Oh Nick, always so concerned for others. "Nate and I never liked to put limits on our love. Did you know he was supposed to go on a date that day? I set him up with another lawyer from work; a cute redhead, even spunkier than me. He knew all about the fact we were married; we wanted to be clear with him from the beginning."

Nick let out a snort, but the way he relaxed into her was enough. "Never took you for the polyamory type."

"Well now you know." Nora leaned in, pressing herself against Nick. Even with his front plate safely in place again she could feel the warmth seeping from his torso. "If you want it to be just us, though, that's okay too. You don't need to feel bad about Nate and me, okay?" Her left hand tilted Nick's chin up so he had no choice but to look directly at her. With a coy smile she held his gaze, then dipped down to place a soft kiss at the corner of his lips.

Nick responded by wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close. He tilted his head so their lips met, so gentle, cautious, that for a brief moment Nora wondered if he really wanted this at all. But then his latex hand found her hair, tangling in the fluffy mess, and let out such a breathless sigh that she just knew.

He tasted just as metallic as he did the first time, but Nora took the time to enjoy the sensation as her lips moved against his, teeth nipping at his bottom lip. As he opened his mouth in a surprised yelp Nora grinned into the kiss, allowing her teeth to capture his lip, teasing her tongue inside his mouth.

So she wasn't sure what to expect; kissing a synth was a whole new world of unknown possibilities. The hard metal of his tongue was unexpected though, as was the ragged edges of the inside of his mouth where soft skin should have been. Instead of pulling away, Nora only deepened the kiss, groaning as Nick's tongue brushed against hers.

Sprawled awkwardly on the sofa, Nora felt her legs slip from the cushions so she hoisted herself up. She ended up between Nick's legs, tangled in his long trench coat, hands planted firmly on the arm of the sofa either side of his head. Her hands found the knot of his tie, deftly tugging it loose to toss it away somewhere unseen. Meanwhile her lips left his to pepper kisses along his jaw, trailing down to his neck, lips delicate but needy.

Nora had been waiting for this for months, throwing hints and flirting mercilessly and  _fuck,_ this must have been a dream. Even with Nick squirming underneath her, even with the taste of his metal skin against her lips, it felt too good to be true.

Her fingers found the first button of his old shirt and she clumsily worked it open, then the next, until she reached across damaged shoulders to slide the shirt from his body. It quickly joined the tie on the floor as Nora flung it aside. Next thing she was kissing his chest, enjoying how warm Nick felt against her.

When her tongue flicked across a seam in the panelling Nick actually  _moaned,_ metal hand gripping her waist. A sharp pain embedded itself where Nick's fingers grabbed at her and it registered dimly she was going to be left bruised.

Really, who gave a shit?

Nora's face was flushed red, tips of her ears turning pink, and when she opened her mouth to breathe a raspy gasp escaped her lips. It ghosted over Nick's skin and she felt him shudder beneath her.

The kisses moved lower, gracing over his waist, then dipping to his hips, finally settling just above the waistline of his trousers. Hands tugged at them, working on removing them, hands gentle but determined-

Nick firmly pushed her back and shuffled into a sitting position, back against the sofa's arm. He didn't blush or need to breath, but Nora saw arousal in the dim glow of half-lidded eyes. There was something else, though.

"Too fast?" she questioned, chest heaving with each gasping breath.

He just nodded silently, head tilted down.

"Hey, no worries; I might have been getting ahead of myself." One hand travelled up to caress Nick's face and she smiled when he leaned into the touch. "I would love nothing more than to take you on this sofa _ _right now__ , but we go at your pace." Leaning back against the sofa, Nora wrapped an arm around his waist. Sure, the mood was thoroughly ruined - her own fault, _ _obviously__ \- but she was still living in the buzzing aftermath of their intimacy.

"That's uh, going to be more difficult than you might think, doll." Nick pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, but when he shifted to look at her his eyes were solemn. "Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to but… well, you've seen the other Gen 2s."

Nora quirked a brow as she brought up a mental image of Gen 2s. Patchwork of synthetic skin, eerie inhuman eyes - so much creepier when they didn't belong to Nick - what was he getting at?

Oh. The realisation hit her and she couldn't help the giggle that escaped her parted lips. "You're worried because you don't have the parts?"

If Nick was capable of blushing, Nora was sure he would have been completely scarlet head to toe. He ducked his head sheepishly with an embarrassed groan. "You didn't have to say it out loud!"

A hand found its way to Nick's cheek as she gently brushed a thumb over his lips. "I don't care. I love you just the way you are, Nick, and it doesn't matter what you do or don't have. We can do plenty of other stuff - or not at all, if you'd prefer. I'm happy with whatever you want to do."

When Nora leaned up to kiss him, Nick eagerly leaned into her touch, sighing happily. "Maybe we should start with sleep," he said with a gentle smile as his hand settled low on her hip. "We have to get out of here soon, and you've barely slept a wink."

Nora cast a forlorn glance toward the door. The radstorm had lessened, wild winds reduced to a low grumble from outside. Faint green still seeped through the cracks in the wood, though. "I left my stuff in the other room. I'm going to be freezing. Guess you'll have to keep me warm." She winked, then grabbed both of Nick's hands and fell backward onto the sofa with a thud.

He fell with her and they ended up in a tangle of limbs, lying together on the old sofa much like she and Nate used to do during a rough night with Shaun. Nora allowed herself a brief thought of her deceased husband and missing son before leaning up and planting a firm kiss against Nick's lips.

Nora pressed herself into Nick's side, squeezing into the small space on the three-seater sofa. It was a tight spot, but curled into Nick she could almost forget about their less than ideal sleeping quarters. She tucked her head underneath his, and almost as soon as they were settled a wide yawn stretched her lips apart. "Fuck, I'm exhausted."

"Must be all that kissing," she heard Nick say, but already the fogginess of sleep was overtaking her.

Nora just had time to say, "I love you, Nick," before she drifted off.

Then as her mind slipped into the world of sleep, she heard Nick murmer, "love you too, doll."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For someone who's ace as fuck and has been kissed all of one time, I think I did all right! Let me know if I should add another chapter - because I was going to add one more with senseless fluff (and maybe a lil smut but no promises) but I kind of like leaving it off here. I'm too damn indecisive!


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